new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
