It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
