I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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