we're blogging at a bar
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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