absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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