I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
