Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
PANTIES FOUND
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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