My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
