He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize