He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
