Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
