that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
