I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
