oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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