just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
