Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
