She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
