Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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