Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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