I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
