escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
