I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
