Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
