so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
