How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
