Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
