Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize