come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
