I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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