glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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