We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
