Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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