4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
