And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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