Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
