Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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