I'm gonna have a badass scar
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize