Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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