I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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