OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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