I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize