Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
