I just threw up on my dentist
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
