Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
