as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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