i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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