His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
