is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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