You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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