she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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