Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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