They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
