i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We need to get me chipped asap
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
