Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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