new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
