im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
