my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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