i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize