Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"