I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?