I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
