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please come you make the beer taste better
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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