rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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