there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
